Shadows Of Light

by Circle Of Indifference

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matthew mccormick The greatest album release you haven;t heard of. Love at first note, I promise
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about

This is the debut album for my project called Circle Of Indifference. The music and lyrices are written by myself, and everything apart from vocals, a handfull of solos and a remix, is performed, recorded, mixed and mastered in my own home.

I am not the multitalented person I wish I'd been, so in order to make this album and everything around it as good as it was in my head, I needed help. This help makes up a large portion of my production costs, so if you can handle everything on your own it will be a lot cheaper. The list below details my expenses:

Music gear and software: €1300 / $1671
Artwork and session musicians: €1500 / $1928
Web hosting, digital distribution etc: €100 / $128
Countless hours of my own time: €0 / $0

Total: €2810 / $3727

Obviously this is quite a substantial amount of money, even if it's just a fraction of the cost compared to that of a professional studio release. The album is available on Spotify, iTunes etc, but since I neither do this for money or expect to make up for my production costs anyway I also have it available as a free download. This is my art, and I would rather have a thousand people download the album for free than ten people pay for it on iTunes. However, I am not rich, and any contribution towards covering my expenses would go along way to help me to release more music in the future. I have a family with two children, house mortgage, car and all the other expenses that comes with being a responsible adult, so there are limits to how much I can spend of my own money on Circle Of Indifference.

That is why I've decided that if you pay for the album when downloading from Bandcamp or anywhere else and let me know about it, you will get your name and other information that you may wish posted on a thank-you list on both this webpage and in the digital booklet on my next album :). And, the revenue vs. expenses ticker on the front page will look a little bit nicer thanks to you!

Either way, if you take the time to listen to my album, you have my eternal gratitude, and if you have any questions or comments do not hesitate to contact me.

I sincerely hope you like the fruit of our labour, and please visit www.circleofindifference.com for more information :)

credits

released October 1, 2014

All music and lyrics written by Dagfinn Övstrud except SOL Remix by Aybars Altay

All music is performed, recorded, mixed and mastered by
Dagfinn Övstrud @ Studio Of Indifference except:

Vocals performed and recorded by Brandon L. Polaris (Voidspawn)
Vocals on ”Darkness” performed and recorded by Nikky Money
Lead guitar on 2, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 written, performed and recorded by Tyler Teeple
SOL Remix additional tracks written and recorded by Aybars Altay

Cover art by Aybars Altay

© 2014 Records Of Indifference

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Track Name: Despair (intro)
Lay down and die!
There is no point to your continued existence
Why endure a meaningless life
Of hardship and persistence

You can find peace in death
Something you'll never have while alive
Do you not long for eternal rest?
Resign and pull back from your fight to survive

See the world for what it is
A place of unbelievable horror and pain
The worst part is that the innocent suffer the most
While evil forever hold the reins

You may seek justice all you want
But in nature that will never be found
Nature is cruel and without soul
Only in death can true equality be found
Track Name: A Child But Not
Unsteady footsteps in the hall
Tells a tale of what's to come
He hears his mother's voice
And someone new that she's brought home

In silence he closes the door
He hopes she thinks he is asleep
Or forgets he's even there at all
In his bed, hiding under the sheets

Tucking his head under his pillow
Desperately clamping his ears
Shutting out all the awful sounds
Yet another night spent in tears

When morning comes he has barely slept
But still he finds he wet his bed

A child but not, when the roles are reversed
HE lies and waits, SHE's late and HE fears the worst

Her own needs
Always first in line
Just a drink or two
And she'll feel just fine

When she sees him crying
There's a slight sense of guilt
But that is easily fixed,
Forgotten and killed

Unsteady footsteps in the hall
Tells a tale of what's to come
She hears her fathers voice
Shouting that he is home

But this time it is different
Her mother has had enough
With knife in hand she ends his life
The perpetual wheel of violence stops
Track Name: Walk With Me
I catch your eye and it's hard to let go
We're meant to be and it seems that you know
Years have passed since the very first time
But only now can you really be mine
Like swans floating on a lake
Graceful are the steps we take

Waited for so long that it seems like forever
But now waiting's over we are at last together

This is a dance eternal
We are the only ones here
Your life as you know it is over
But you don't seem to care

Inside, been so cold that my heart has been frozen
But now that is over, to save me I have chosen you

Take my hand, walk with me
Close your eyes, you will see inside my dream
You will be with me

In a dream but still awake
Your future lies with me
You have no choice but to obey
I'll never set you free

My web of thoughts will keep you trapped
I am in complete control
Some call it force, I call it love
You have my heart and soul

Take my hand, walk with me
Close your eyes, you will see inside my dream
You will be with me

A fantasy that has come true
The joining of you and me
As I peer into your eyes
I see what's been and what will be

In a dream but still awake
My future lies with you
I have no choice but to obey
To completely follow through
Track Name: Alone
They walk right past me, it's like they can't see me at all
Invisible, alone through life I fall
I want to be noticed, to be seen, to be heard, to be loved
What have I done to deserve this?
This hell I suffer

Even bullies ignore me, I try to provoke but fail
I never cause a reaction, I scream but no one cares
I can't remember, did I ever have any friends?
Feels like it's been like this forever, but in my dreams I'm not

Alone, I walk through life, alone, I don't want to be
Alone, it hurts to be alone, please help me!

In class I sit silent, no reason for me to speak
When I'm always neglected the will to talk grows weak
Should I try harder, is this somehow my fault?
Can I do anything different?
I wish that I was not

Alone, I walk through life, alone, I don't want to be
Alone, it hurts to be alone, please help me!

It's time to change this, it's time for me to live
I build the courage to look for what I need
My mindset changing, newfound hope that makes me smile
A brighter future is what I hope to find

I will no longer be alone, I will be a part of someone's life
And they will spend their time with me, their friend
I will be alive!

My heart is racing, beating really fast
What will it be like?
To feel safe and warm at last
To share my secrets, to share my inner thoughts
To be with others that accept me as I am

I will no longer be alone, I will be a part of someone's life
And they will spend their time with me, their friend

I will be alive!
That's when it hits me, the reason for it all
Why they can't see me, I'm starting to recall

Something happened, I can't remember when
But what I know is...I am dead!
Track Name: Shadows Of Light
Do you see me coming
In the corner of your eyes I will be shadows of light
The sun is now setting
It's getting dark outside, and I come out at night
But I'm not your enemy!

Beneath the surface of your very soul I lie and... Wait!
Emotions running wild, I'm sure you feel the... Hate!
Boiling anger, hard to contain, I'm coming... Through!
There is no cure for this, no pills you can take
Because I'm... You!

"Such a trauma" they said to me
Will only heal with time and therapy
And I tried to leave the pain behind
But I never found my peace of mind

All the talking, it did no good
I lose control again, I knew I would
My past is present, they intertwine
I cannot help myself, I cross the line

Feels like I'm trapped inside a time machine
A movie looping on my inner screen

I print out his picture with his name and address
As always easy to find
The pain is dulled with excitement
He will pay for his sins as will the rest of his kind

Will he see me coming
In the corner of his eyes I will be shadows of light
He better start running
It's getting dark outside, and I come out at night
I am his enemy!

Around the corner and behind a wall I stand and... Wait!
Emotions running wild, I'm filled with... Hate!
Boiling anger, hard to contain I let it... Go!
There's no escape from this, no hope for your soul
Pay what you... Owe!

You've got it coming, the reaper is here for you!
You've got it coming, there's nothing you can do!
I will hunt you down and end your life, you're gonna die!
Track Name: Evil
Looking back I see it clearly
What I am and why they hate me so
No regard for human emotions
As I have none it is impossible to know

How to act and how to behave
To me, others are dolls in a play
No more important than the fallen leaves from a tree
They may look pretty but already in decay

I will certainly never change, this is who I am, this is me
I can't be fixed or healed or saved, this is all I'll ever be
I can learn to emulate, but never be taught how to feel
I will never know how to care, only what to disguise and conseal
I watch my plans for them unfold as I scheme and spread the lies
So predictable, the idiots I despise

Manipulation is my name, bending the truth to fit my needs
I have to fill the plate of victories of which my selfish ego feeds
I'll sacrifice a pawn or two, or any other piece I guess
The only one that matters is the king in this constant game of chess

It's time to step it up, new frontiers I will explore
This urge to cause somebody pain is getting too hard to ignore
What I need now is a plan, make sure nothing can go wrong
Maticoulously written down, my dedication is so strong

Focus is my name, the preparation is complete
My cup of satisfaction soon I will replete
There is no room for mistakes, so rehearsal is the key
I've prepared for this for years, a brutal killer I will be

In cold blood I get to work according to my plan
I have followed her for months, now I throw her in my van
I hear her muffled screams in the back as I drive on through the night
She can kick and scream all she wants
In fact I think I'll enjoy it more if she fights

Evil is my name, I get off on people's pain
I get a rush when I cause harm, when I'm done I'll do it all again
There is no hell, there's only this
I'll enjoy while it lasts, afterwards I'll reminisce

I am the one you should fear, and there's no saviour anywhere
To save your soul or set you free
The last thing you will see in life is... Me
Track Name: This Is Not The End
I hear my name, I hear the crowd
Blood in my face, I scream out loud
The Murmillo stands in my way
Someday I'll die, but not today
True to form, it's like a dance
A big mistake, I see my chance
He swings his sword, but all to late
My blade strikes flesh, he took the bate

I turn around, look up at Him
His thumb points down
I do as told, such are the rules that I uphold

In my sleep I dream of peace
But then it turns, I'm on my knees
The dream is red, but there's no fear
I know I'll die, but I don't care
I close my eyes and catch my breath
He has me beat and brings me death
He swings his sword, I start to shake
I feel the pain, and then awake

I wish it was not just a dream, eternal rest
But still I fight like in a trance, I am the best

Why! Still wonder whyI cannot let myself die
I still crave the win
The need to feel the rush runs deep within

As I await I contemplate a life of pain
Is this all I get, this blood and sweat
To kill in vain

I hear my name, I hear the crowd
Blood in my face I scream out loud
The Murmillo stands in my way
Someday I'll die, might be today
Something is wrong, I lose this dance
A big mistake, now is his chance

A flash of light, I lie in dirt, I lost the fight
He does as told, those are the rules that we uphold
Track Name: Darkness
Chaos within me, subversive and severe
Inhuman expectations, breakdown drawing near
Escape my only option, to hide myself from all
Solution now so clear, from consciousness...

I fall
In darkness I submerge
The chaos now subsides
Inside I'm filled with calm
In peace I now reside

I hear the whitecoat voices
Discussing what they see
They seem to be in conflict
Of what to do with me
The hole I'm in grows deeper
The only way is down
They hope to bring me back
But all the same...

I drown
In darkness I submerge
The chaos now subsides
Inside I'm filled with calm
In peace I now reside

”I'm scared
Scared you will never come back to me
But when I see your face I know
You are where you need to be
But still, that I am not enough
To keep you around
It hurts deep inside
That in spite of my love
You let yourself drown”

My world is all within now
I close my eyes and...

Sink
In darkness I submerge
The chaos now subsides
Inside I'm filled with calm
In peace I now reside
Track Name: Another Day In Paradise
I feel my pulse, the pain creating the beat
To a song that is stuck on repeat
Lost track of days when they evened the wall
Now I'm lost in a haze with no concept of time at all
My mind is a blur

Evil epitomized
Welcome to paradise

”Another one is dragged away to that special place
He knows what awaits but makes no attempt to resist
That would only make what is coming even worse
They are really good at making the pain persist
When the beaten returns, no one cares
They just sit there, backs to the wall

Their eyes fixed in a hollow stare
Bodies of bone with leathery skin
The will to fight disappears with the flesh
All that remains is for death to begin”

Humanity, these surroundings detracts
They can't all be bad in spite of their acts
Compassion is lost when they step through the door
Ferociously beating a helpless man on the floor
And I look away...

Evil epitomized
Welcome to paradise

Someone please, rescue me
Back to life, somewhere safe, set me free
I dream their death, I dream our revenge
Their very existence I will quench

Then it comes, the day of our dreams
The guards are killed, we can all hear the screams

But as it turns out, our saviours are not
Who we thought them to be
New terrors they brought
The line has been crossed, all hope is lost

Evil epitomized
Welcome to paradise
Track Name: Abyss
Cold and dark, we sail in silence
In fear and hope combined
Far up above lies a threat
Their goal is our demise

We are now alone
Our friends are gone
Lost to the sea, never to be found

Caught by surprise, they stood no chance
In the blink of an eye it was over

My men are composed, they do make me proud
And that's why it cuts to know that they'll die
When I see the fear they hold in their heart
But somehow remain so sharp and alert

This time it's too much, we cannot escape
No need for deceit when we know it's too late
This war is not ours, but still we are here
For others we'll die, and no one will care

We sacrifice our lives
For those that are safe behind a desk
With their maps and toys
To them it's all a game

"Do or die, to disobey is treason
We're at war and so are you"

The hull is breached, I seal the hatch
Those on the other side already dead

As we sink
The sound of steel as it's folding in
We are too deep

To my surprise
A sense of calm
Instead of fear this close to the end

I'm now submerged
I cannot breathe
I fight the stabbing pain and then I leave
Track Name: Push
Push on forward
Always, forever
This is your future
Hardship, endeavor

Greet the friendly face that is your shelter for the night
Take pleasure in what you get
Ignore what is out of sight

Be an inspiration
Whatever may come, stand tall
Live each day as your last
Then nothing can hurt you at all

Take these words of advice, be kind to all you meet
Then even if cut short your life will be complete

Be wary the leeches that prey on frightened souls
Find comfort in what is real
Openminded but in control

See the world for what it is
A game of chance, a game you won
You won a prize, the prize of life
Most possibilities get none

Be an inspiration
Whatever may come, stand tall
Live each day as your last
Then nothing can hurt you at all

Take these words of advice, be kind to all you meet
Then even if cut short your life will be complete

When you read this I will be gone
Feel no sadness, do not mourn
Live your life with no regrets
Chanses are It's all you get

Goodbye, goodbye forever

Goodbye, forever
Take care of your future
It's now or never

Let no one drag you down or tell you what to do
Surround yourself with others who wants to be with you

Be an inspiration
Whatever may come, stand tall
Live each day as your last
Then nothing can hurt you at all

Take these words of advice, be kind to all you meet
Then even if cut short your life will be complete

Live your life
Live your life
Live your life
Live your life
Live!